Various Quotes
2:59 p.m. July 15, 2002
Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
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Ted Striker: I've got to concentrate... [his thoughts echo] concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...
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[As the plane prepares to take off.]
Old lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Old lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times
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Prince: Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it?
Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century.
Prince: You mean you changed it TO "Latrine"?
Latrine: Yeah. Used to be "Shithouse."
Prince: It's a good change. That's a good change!
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Inga: Werewolf!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Werewolf?
Igor: There. There wolf.
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Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: You know, I'm a very prominent surgeon. I can do something about your hump.
Igor: What hump?
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Baron St. Fontanel: A woman happily in love, she burns the souffle. A woman unhappily in love, she forgets to turn on the oven.
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Mel Funn: [on telephone] Hello, Mr. Marceau? Je suis Funn. How would you like to be in the first silent film to be made in Hollywood in over 50 years?
Marcel Marceau: Non!
Studio Chief: What did he say?
Mel Funn: I don't know. I can't speak French.
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Homer: Oh wow, I can't believe my first passenger is comedy legend Mel Brooks! You know that movie, Young Frankenstein? Scared the hell out of me!
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Zidler: I am the evil maharajah!
Satine: Oh Harold, no one could play him like you could.
Zidler: No one's going to.
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Argentinean: Never fall in love with a woman who sells herself. It always ends bad!
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Toulouse-Lautrec: Oh no, I forgot my line
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Toulouse-Lautrec: [singing] The hills are made with the euphonious symphonies of descant...
Doctor: I don't think a nun would say that about a hill.
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French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
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Galahad: Look, let me face the peril!
Lancelot: No, no, it's much too perilous!
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Black Knight: Have at you!
Arthur: You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Black Knight: Oh, had enough eh?
Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound!
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Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant: Well she turned me into a newt!
Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant: I got better.
Crowd: BURN HER ANYWAY!
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Bedevere: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.
Arthur: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
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Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI!
Other Knights: Shh...
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!"
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The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead!
[A man puts a body on the cart.]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead!
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead!
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not!
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better!
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart!
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine!
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't!
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk!
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy! I feel happy!
[The Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club.]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.
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[Upon going into "ludicrous speed"]
Dark Helmet: My brains... are going into my feet!
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Lone Star: A million? That's unfair.
Pizza the Hutt: Unfair to the payor but not to the payee. But you're gonna pay it, or else!
Barf: Or else what?
Pizza the Hutt: Tell him, vinnie.
Vinnie: Or else pizza is gonna send out for *you*!
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Dark Helmet: Knock on my door! Knock next time!
Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir!
Dark Helmet: Did you see anything?
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir! I didn't see you playing with you dolls again.
Dark Helmet: Good!
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Barf: I know we need the money, but...
Lone Star: Listen! We're not just doing this for money... We're doing it for a SHIT LOAD of money!
Barf: Oh, you're right. And when you're right, you're right. And you - you're always right.
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Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN???
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President Skroob: Sandurz, Sandurz. You got to help me. I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions. I'm a president!
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Yogurt: And may the schwartz be with you!
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[Bart, disguised as a Klansman, describes his qualifications as a villain.]
Bart: Stampeding cattle.
Hedley Lamarr: That's not much of a crime.
Bart: Through the Vatican?
Hedley Lamarr: [smiling] Kinky! Sign here.
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Jim: You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
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[Bart on grandstand to the townspeople]
Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.
[Bart reaches into waistline as crowd gasps and screams. Bart pulls out paper]
Crowd: Ahhhhh!
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George McFly: Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain
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Marty McFly: Wait a minute, Doc. Ah... Are you telling me you built a time machine... out of a DeLorean?
Dr. Emmett Brown: The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?
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Marty McFly: Jesus, George, it's a wonder I was ever born!
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Lou: You gonna order something, kid?
Marty McFly: Ah, yeah... Give me a Tab.
Lou: Tab? I can't give you a tab unless you order something!
Marty McFly: Alright, give me a Pepsi Free.
Lou: You want a Pepsi, PAL, you're gonna pay for it!
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[Lorraine's parents are talking about Marty McFly, Lorraine's future son]
Stella Baines: He's a very strange young man.
Sam Baines: He's an idiot. Comes from upbringing. His parents are probably idiots too. Lorraine, if you ever have a kid that acts that way I'll disown you.
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Marty McFly: So does it run on regular unleaded gasoline?
Dr. Emmett Brown: Unfortunately no, it needs something with a little more kick - plutonium.
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Dr. Emmett Brown: [Running out of the room] 1.21 gigawatts?! 1.21 gigawatts?!
Marty McFly: [Following] What the hell is a gigawatt?!
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Ferris: Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym?
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Cameron: He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guily. This is uh... This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What-- I'LL GO. Shit.
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[A baseball game is on television.]
Ed Rooney: What's the score?
Pizza Joint Owner: Nothin' to nothin'.
Ed Rooney: [not really listening] Who's winning?
Pizza Joint Owner: The Bears.
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Cameron: [singing] When Cameron was in Egypt's land..."let my Cameron go!"
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Ferris Bueller: Cameron's house is like a museum. It's very cold, and very beautiful, and you're not allowed to touch anything.
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Jeannie Bueller: There is an intruder - male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird - in my kitchen.
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Boy in Police Station: Drugs?
Jeannie Bueller: Thank you, no. I'm straight.
Boy in Police Station: I meant, are you in here for drugs?
Jeannie Bueller: Why are you here?
Boy in Police Station: Drugs.
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Ferris Bueller: I did have a test today. That wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European, I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. That still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism - he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in Beatles - I just believe in me". A good point there. Of course, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus - I'd still have to bum rides off of people.
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Ed Rooney: I don't trust this kid any farther than I can throw him.
Grace: With your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody.
Ed Rooney: What's so terrible about a kid like Ferris is he gives good kids bad ideas. Last thing I need in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectivley govern this student body.
Grace: He makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.
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Katie Bueller: I just picked up Jeannie at the police station! She got a speeding ticket, another speeding ticket, and I lost the Vermont deal because of her!
Tom Bueller: I think we should shoot her.
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Cameron: Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself.
Ferris: Anyone with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.
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Boy in Police Station: There's someone you should talk to.
Jeannie: If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle.
Boy in Police Station: Oh, you know him?
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Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
--Albert Einstein
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"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
Rodney Dangerfield.
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"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
George Carlin.
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"If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it."
W.C.Fields
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"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Robin Williams.
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"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' "
Charlie Brown.
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"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde
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"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."
Steven Wright.
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"A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'."
Woody Allen
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"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
Emo Philips.
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"If you cannot read this, please ask the flight attendant for assistance."
United Airlines Flight Safety Brochure
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"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."
Homer Simpson
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~God was showing off with you.
~You're nobody till somebody loves you.
~And i know that i am the luckiest.
~In my life i've loved them all
~Our love was comfortable and so broken in.
~Can you still feel the butterflies?
~I found a way to make you smile.
~Come away with me in the night
~I saw it in your eyes what will make me live
~I am a better person because of you.
~Cause i only have eyes for you.
~If I'm laden at all, I'm laden with sadness that everyone's heart isn't filled with the gladness of love for one another.
~And how we just hate being alone, could i have missed my only chance? And now i'm wasting my time by looking around. Because i'm so scared of being alone, that i forget which house i live in. And that it's not my job to wait by the phone for her to call.
~Crazy how it feels tonight. Crazy how you make it all alright.
~I need your arms around me, i need to feel your touch. I need your understanding i need your love so much.
~I need you. You're all I'm living for.
~Just remember darling: all the while, you belong to me.
~Every kind of love, or at least my kind of love, must be an imaginary love to start with.
~Who knows how long i've loved you? You know i love you still.
~If you could see her through my eyes, you wouldn't wonder at all. If you could see her through my eyes, I guarantee you would fall like i did.
~Where do all the secrets live? They travel in the air. You can smell them when they burn, they travel. Those who say the past is not dead can stop and smell the smoke.
~I am beautiful no matter what they say.
~Tell me why did you mess with forever?
~I am ready. I am fine.
~I'm reading your note over again. There is not a word that I comprehend, except when you signed it: "I will love you always & forever"
~Come what may, i will love you till my dying day.
~tryin to get my mansions green, after i've grey gardens seen
~For always, forever, for us there's no time and no space. No barrier love won't erase.
~Love is a good thing.
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last entry :: next entry
"I am my father's daughter. I am not afraid of anything"
Forever in My Heart
Dale B. Spencer
1952-2005
My Angel
~*~Chloe~*~
2000-2005
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