The way he should make me feel
12:51 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 22, 2003
***WARNING***
This entry contains wistfulness and ultimate cheesiness...cheesy-ness. Whatever.
So i have had pretty good week in all. I mean, I've actually played the game a bit...but still, in the back of my head and in the bottom of my heart, i want to find a man who loves me. Honestly loves me. Looks past my physical imperfections and sligh psychological imbalances...and just loves me. Who knows, maybe even finds my neurotic tendencies endearing.
I"m by no means ready for marriage. HELL no. I"m just saying that i want to be loved...is that so wrong? And i want to love somebody back. And i'm not saying that i need to find this awesome man now, i'm just saying that despite my fun, this is the truth in the bottom of my heart.
that i have a fear of being and old spinster. The scary woman at the end of the road with a million cats...or worse: birds. I don't want kids now, but i'm sure i will. I love the idea of my husband that is in my head. I want more than anything for these lyrics to reflect the truth in my life. I know often times when people put up lyrics, it is easy to brush past them...but take the time to read these:
Alone with my thoughts this evening
I walked on the banks of Tyne
I wondered how I could win you
Or if I could make you mine
Or if I could make you mine
The wind it was so insistent
With tales of a stormy south
But when I spied two birds in a sycamore tree
There came a dryness in my mouth
Came a dryness in my mouth
For then without rhyme or reason
The two birds did rise up to fly
And where the two birds were flying
I swear I saw you and I
I swear I saw you and I
I walked out this morning
It was like a veil had been removed from before my eyes
For the first time I saw the work of heaven
In the line where the hills had been married to the sky
And all around me every blade of singing grass
Was calling out your name and that our love would always last
And inside every turning leaf
Is the pattern of an older tree
The shape of our future
The shape of all our history
And out of the confusion
Where the river meets the sea
Came things I'd never seen
Things I'd never seen
I was brought to my senses
I was blind but now that I can see
Every signpost in nature
Said you belong to me
I know it's true
It's written in a sky as blue
As blue as your eyes, as blue as your eyes
If nature's red in tooth and claw
Like winter's freeze and summer's thaw
The wounds she gave me
Were the wounds that would heal me
And we'd be like the moon and sun
And when our courtly dance had run
Its course across the sky
Then together we would lie
And out of the confusion
Where the river meets the sea
Something new would arrive
Something better would arrive
I was brought to my senses
I was blind but now that I can see
Every signpost in nature
Said you belong to me
Fabulous! thank you, Sting!
But to be honest to myself...i'm having the time of my life now. Sure things don't work out the way i may have hoped...but it was worth it. It was worth all of it.
So, yes. a rather introspective entry for stacey. One day i'll find a guy who makes me feel alive...and hopefully he will feel the same...but i'm in no rush. :-D
last entry :: next entry
"I am my father's daughter. I am not afraid of anything"
Forever in My Heart
Dale B. Spencer
1952-2005
My Angel
~*~Chloe~*~
2000-2005
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