OCD? oh, see, i do
7:47 p.m. Monday, Nov. 17, 2003


Most Frequent Indicators of OCD:

1) Irrepressible need for symmetry and order
2) hoarding and saving
3) Repetitive rituals
4) Nonsensical doubts
5) Supersitious fears
6) intrusive thoughts of a religious or sexual nature
****this list should be thought of little more than a launching pad****

WELL. ;) Let's see shall we? i could say that at this point in my life, i'm a damn good canditate for this shit. let me elaborate

Irrepressible need for symmetry and order
Now, i am not saying that i have an irrepressible need. but things must have order in my life. I hate to not know what is going on. things must have a certain way to them so to speak. also, i find that i seem to have to be the person to instigate conversations...phone, IM, whatever. I don't just let people start them up; i would LIKE them to, but seeing as it doesn't happen enough, i just take the innitiative and do it myself. Perhaps it is because that has become the order in my life; i start it! who knows.

hoarding and saving
Well...this is kind of not me so much. But i AM a packrat. ask my mom. I cleaned out my closet the other day and finally threw out clothes i have outgrown. We're talking high school people. Maybe it is a need for "memories" or maybe it is that i want to lose the weight to fit in them again. Or maybe i'm just insane. now..i don't hoard or save money, so it isn't that..but i do save weird things; ie, every ticket stub from my theatre performances at IU that i've gone to...or all the programs i've been to/in. Or the post-its from the pimpette shack. People, this is not normal....scrapbook, yes. this shit, NO

Repetitive rituals
Not only do i have repetive rituals...they are quite odd. For example: when i curl my eyelashes. I have two different eyelass curlers. One is lacross, the other revlon. I MUST...MUST use the lacross first and put on a base coat to be followed by the revlon and the "good" mascara. uhhh. WHY DOES THIS MATTER??? as well: When opening up internet explorer, there is a certain order to my websites: diaryland buddies; mail; oncourse; IUTV. Don't ask why. it just has to be that way. I can try to change it up, but i feel odd. ;)

Nonsensical doubts
Oh Lord. You wanna talk nonsensical doubts. How's this one: "I feel like an ass when i call you because you don't call back and i feel like you hate me." What...in...the...hell?!? now...this person has made it quite clear that they enjoy my company and that i'm (if nothing else) enjoyable as a friend. But when i don't get a call, i freak out and feel very upset and i doubt that they like me at all. I feel that i am beyond annoying and clingy and what not. What does this person say when i bring up the (very) irrational thinking: "Don't stop leaving messages, i like to hear your voice.." Of course i think "well why don't you call back" but whatever. You wanna talk nonsensical..there. you. go.

Supersitious fears
See #4 (nonsensical doubts)
no for real...because i call you, you hate me. That is why. If i don't call, you'll be head over heels for me, right? CA-RAZY

intrusive thoughts of a religious or sexual nature
Please...what 20 year old doesn't have intrusive thoughts of religious or sexual natures????

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Thus: i am insane. I have OCD. no doubt about it. ;)

if nothing else...i'm just a crazy girl who needs to stop procrastinating and get on with her life and realize that people (myself included) are very busy and we all exhibit traits of severe mental illness.

Deal with that!

Oh yes: le suces, fran�ais

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